“I wanna see the world, drive nice cars…”

We have a home video from when I was about 7, casually sitting in a Fisher Price car with my legs on the dashboard, sporting some neon sunglasses, Beauty and the Beast shirt, and looking pretty cool when my dad asked me “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My response, “Nothing,” probably resulted from the chillaxed attitude I was in at that moment—or else I was one of those 7–year-olds with no drive or ambition—OR 7-year-olds shouldn’t have to give definitive answers to that question!

The way that 22-and-a-half-year-olds answer, however, can be very important. I was asked this question at an informational interview yesterday. It’s basically just a more laid back version of the popular interview question, “What are your long term career goals?” Thankfully, I have learned some things and have gotten to know myself better since I was 7, making my answer a little more clear.

When I’m asked this question during interviews, it’s difficult to respond to because the answer needs to somehow reflect the job that I’m interviewing for. If I answer that one of my long term goals is to be Beyoncé during an interview for a Marketing Coordinator position that just wouldn’t make sense. I do usually give different versions of the same answer, though. I want to work abroad or in an environment that involves constant interaction with people from around the world. (“Long term I also want to be in a company where I have grown and have been able to advance my career to a place where I’m using my talents & passions to benefit the company. At a company like [insert company I’m interviewing with here].”) It’s all the truth! I’m a really terrible liar, so all my responses during an interview are going to be honest. Also, I think that B.S. is very easy to see through, especially during an interview if you’re clearly trying too hard to appear a certain way to get the job, but that’s a discussion for a different day.

Obviously this question is still one that recent graduates like myself are asking ourselves. We have degrees that hopefully reflect our interests and that will help us to reach our “long term goals.” But right now I personally am finding that it’s hard to see how this dream of mine is going to come to fruition. What job can I get right now that is the first step to me being able to work abroad/apply marketing to a very international setting/travel everywhere for a living?? I don’t know. It’s very possible that this first step may not be so obviously on track with that dream. But in the meantime I have been doing things myself that I hope will be beneficial to achieving this dream eventually. Keeping up with my French, keeping track of world news, learning a new language for the past few months, applying to jobs in Switzerland, France, other places just to see what happens…little things that one day may lead me to some big things. So at this very moment I may not have a job that is helping me to get there, but it’s my own responsibility to make it happen.

I’m glad my 7 year old self was not worrying too much about what I wanted to be when I grew up, because it’s stressful. I think that my biggest concern around that time was when was the next time I was going to be able to eat macaroni and cheese. I mean now I can eat it whenever I want, but that’s beside the point. My point is that I can still be whatever I want when I grow up if I take on the responsibility myself and stay committed to it. I think my personal hopes are more realistic for me than these girls’ aspirations, but who knows.

I’m going to take Beyonce’s job

The past few days I have had a very strong urge to run away. Not to the house a couple doors down like when I was little but AWAY. Yesterday at mass the priest said that we are all called to be prophets, speaking the truth to people with love and charity. Well here’s the truth. To be honest, having a positive attitude sometimes is exhausting, and although I still await the results of my most recent interview, I am just tired of it. Literally, I have been losing sleep. And the nightmares have been getting weird, people. The other night some weirdo was looking for me and wanted to set me on FIRE. That can only be the dream of an anxious mind such as my own.

The time between a job interview and the dreaded/anticipated e-mail or phone call with a rejection or an offer is just the worst. Like I’ve said, I am not a very patient person. I can wait an extra hour for takeoff because of plane maintenance (because if I don’t that probably means it will fall apart during my flight), I can also wait in line behind difficult customers at Target who give the cashier 29384 coupons (because they’re just trying to save money and it usually doesn’t take weeks).But waiting to hear whether I am the chosen one for a job I really want is almost unbearable. More than likely, for the hiring managers the decision doesn’t hold as much weight. It probably isn’t the first thing on their mind when they wake up in the morning. For me, however, I wake up to no job and wonder when the time will come again when I have to be somewhere by 8am every day (I actually miss that). These hiring managers have got the powa to give me a job, and I really don’t like that it’s in their hands at this point. I’ve been thinking of sending kind, intimidating e-mails saying that they really should hire me, what are they waiting for, but I haven’t gone completely crazy yet, also I’m a PROFESSIONAL.

I’m just really anxious to get to the next step. Maybe it’s irrational to think that until I find a job, I am just stuck. But getting a job is my top priority, and until I find a way to finance my life without a job I need one really bad. Not to mention I would just love to put these GREAT ideas of mine to work. Did anyone see that Audi commercial during the Super Bowl yesterday where this boy walks right into prom and kisses someone else’s date just because he’s feeling all confident and empowered?? I want to walk into someplace and take a job just like that. I think the boy ends up with a black eye but the point is I am tired of waiting and really want to take matters into my own hands.

In conclusion, the world does not revolve around me. And even though I never thought of myself as the type of person who thinks that, this unemployment game is just a nice little reminder. Now ain’t that the truth.

(Speaking of the Super Bowl, if anyone knows how I can pursue a career of being Beyoncé that is also something I would like to do and might be good at.)