Literally, Ugh.

(Disclaimer: This is NOT me trying to make any sort of political statement for or against any particular political party. Because, like with sports, I hold very little credibility in that area. It’s simply my sometimes-naïve mind wondering why WE CAN’T ALL JUST GET ALONG. Jeeze.)

The internet got me all worked up again today. This article showed up on my newsfeed from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Apparently Scott Walker used a Dropkick Murphy’s song as intro music before his speech at the Iowa Freedom Summit over the weekend. The band is not a fan of Walker, and directed a tweet to him saying “Please stop using our music in any way…we literally hate you!!!”

Okay. A few things:

1. What’s a Dropkick Murphy?
2. Walker should have known better than to use a Dropkick Murphy’s song. The band released a single a few years ago dedicated to Wisconsin unions that were protesting Walker’s state budget plan. That’s a pretty big hint that they probably don’t want to play/be at all associated with your theme music…
3. “We literally hate you”…Yes, freedom of speech and blahblahblah…But this wording was the thing that really got me riled up when seeing this story. First of all, the use of the word literally is LITERALLY out of control these days. Secondly, hate is a strong word people!

I think I have a good sense of humor. I could laugh off a stupid tweet like that. It’s just a tweet. But then again it bothers me. I think I check the news probably an unhealthy amount on a daily basis. There’s a lot of h8 going on around the world. I see all these things happening that I feel I have no control over. And these big things that are happening make me wonder whether anything that I would do to try to “make the world a better place” would even matter in the grand scheme of things. For example, if I were to perform a good deed every day for a stranger how would that stop hatred-fueled terrorist attacks from happening on the other side of the world? I struggle with how big of a difference I can possibly make in my daily life (until I become an ambassador at the UN…) when we’re up against such heavy & powerful and seemingly unstoppable forces of unrest/hatred.

So, I may not be able to personally bring peace to the Middle East, but I can call out an offensive tweet. It’s completely acceptable to disagree with other people and voice opinions. That freedom is what lets me write this blog. However, expressing those things through a veil of hatred is just so NOT productive. And obviously there’s a lot more offensive things going on around the internet than this particular tweet I came across, but that’s just what happened to come up in my little world today—a little world I’m always trying to expand.

Writing all this made me think of this song that I used to very much love dancing to at grade school dances. Enjoy.

Kumbaya, Namaste, etc.

R-E-L-A-X

Packer-land is in mourning. We all saw it, I don’t even want to talk about it. This morning I heard some people in the office discussing all that went wrong–“WTF Bostick” / “Since when do people just slide on the ground like an idiot after an interception instead of RUN”, etc.– and had to turn up T-Swift in my earbuds. Because I’d rather hear her triumphantly whining about her past relationships than re-live the sad messiness that was the last quarter of the Packer game yesterday.

Anyway, I’ve thought about Aaron Rodgers’ interview back in the beginning of the season when he told everyone to “R-E-L-A-X”. It was only the beginning few games of the season and people were freaking OUT at the 1-2 record. And look where they ended up. No, they didn’t go to the Super Bowl. Sorry for the reminder. But they turned out an impressive season nonetheless.

As a disclaimer, me talking about sports is kind of funny because I hold very little credibility in the sports knowledge department. My lucky little brother got to sit next to me during the game and answer questions like “Why don’t they try for the field goal from the other team’s 30 yard line instead of punting just for fun?” However, I’m not looking at a sports lesson here–I’m all about the life lessons. And Mr. Rodgers’ comment got me thinking. (Not this one, although he is also FULL of some good life lessons)

I often find myself caught up in the immediate details of what’s going on in my life. Like when I was convinced I would be living at my parents’ house until I turned 35 because certain things weren’t perfectly aligning. And THEN just like that things change and now I’m living in my own place. It’s so easy to get anxious and jump to all the worst conclusions when things don’t start off going how I would ideally want them to. It’s easy to think that a bad moment will last forever. I tend to spend time stressing about how things are NOT happening until eventually, they do. Meanwhile, I could’ve spent more effort living in the moment, where I was, instead of where I was hoping to be. Whether it’s enjoying the extra time with family while living at home, embracing the frustrations of a new job and turning that into ambition, or struggling through the first few games of a season and building up momentum, being present in those times makes the end result you were hoping for that much better.

So maybe they didn’t win. But W-O-W. Aaron Rodgers is brilliant.

Settle down for WHAT?

I’ve always been afraid of the concept of “settling”. To me that could mean staying in one place for too long OR accepting something that is less than what I know I deserve or want. Like not telling the barista that I ordered a WHITE chocolate mocha, not a regular one if they get it wrong (JEEZE). I hate the feeling that I’m no longer moving, improving, discovering new things, etc.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the difference between settling and settling DOWN. Just three weeks ago I began a new job (again!). It’s a position that will be giving me better experience and opportunities, at a place where I know I will be staying for a longer amount of time than I’m used to. Since I began college things have been in a constant cycle of change. Every semester brought a new batch of classes. Every year brought a new place to live, new people surrounding me. Even my internship during college was a program that required rotating to a new department every six months.

Then college ended. And things still didn’t settle down. Although I was stuck in the black hole of unemployment, my mind was anxious, jumping from one job interview to the next, one potential future to another. Once I finally found a job I still felt like it was just a stepping-stone, just a place I was passing through. Knowing that it was a position where I didn’t feel like I was able to demonstrate my full potential, I never stopped looking for a different job for the nine months I was there.

And NOW, I have found the holy grail of a job that I’ve been looking for. At an exceptional, international company in a position with a lot of future possibilities. I feel so grateful and blessed. But….

Okay you probably want to slap me in the face and say MISSY how could there be a but?? You finally got this job you’ve been rambling on about for the past two years!!

Just LISTEN people.

The “but” is that I am entering a territory where it looks like I will be settling down for awhile, and that is horrifying to me. It’s weird for me to not be looking for a new job anymore. That became one of my biggest hobbies. I’ve caught myself looking at open positions and then realizing I don’t need to keep looking anymore! Phew. The search is over for now, and I need to teach myself that settling down can be a good thing. Constantly searching for something better gets exhausting. Even though this job is not a high level executive position in Paris, it’s good for me. And it could just be one step closer to those cobblestone streets in the city of lights. Every once in awhile settling down results in some beautiful things.

Like meeting someone special (and handsome) and taking a chance on a relationship with them. Or finding a new job and taking advantage of all its new learning opportunities.

I just need to remind myself that settling down is not settling. It’s simply realizing that the search for something can be over—at least for a while. There are a lot of places in my life where I’m currently not settled down too, and I’m finding that for me I need those things to continue to look and strive for—like a new place to live, a relationship, new friendships, a stronger faith—things that help me to stay in a constant state of progress. I know I get bored easily…but here’s to settling down and still having the potential to be better every day. Sounds like something Oprah would say. Sorry.

The girl who knows too much

The Wi-Fi at our house was down last night. After a (hilarious/stressful) joint effort by my parents to fix the issue with our internet provider over the phone it was determined that the situation could not be resolved until morning.  No internet for a whole night?? What a nightmare.

Due to the fact that it was Monday night and the Bachelor was on (HEY—don’t even start) I was not too fazed by my inability to access the internet. Until 9 o’clock when Juan Pablo stopped crying and the Bachelor was over. I decided to get into a book I had recently started, which lasted about twenty minutes until I decided I would rather sleep. Not having internet for the night did, however, get me to thinking.

I have had a smart phone for three years now, meaning that for the past three years at any given moment I have had unlimited information at my fingertips. (Technically it’s not unlimited due to my restricted data plan which I have overdrawn on the past couple months. You’re welcome Verizon $$$) But I mean I can settle an argument about who played that one guy in that one movie by looking it up on Google or see how snowy the afternoon commute is going to be with my weather app or figure out what song is playing on the radio by pressing the magical Shazam button. There are even times when I misplace my keys or something and for a nanosecond think that I could Google them to find out where they are…that would not work. But my mind is now wired to think that even if I don’t know the answer to something, I should be able to find it immediately.

I have grown up with the internet and all the transformations it has been through. It is such a cool thing. But lately I keep thinking, “T.M.I. Internet!” This is not only due to my constant access to it, but to what I am exposed to on it. For example, even if I missed part of the Super Bowl coverage the other night I can find clips of all the commercials, all the pictures of Joe Namath in his fur coat, GIFs of the several Broncos turnovers, and sad memes of Peyton Manning. I was reading an article about people’s disappointment with this year’s commercials, and one reason that was given for the lack of interest in them was the fact that they could be seen on the internet for a week before they even aired during the Super Bowl. Our access to unlimited immediate information is making things disappointing when they happen in real time.

I see this happening in my daily life. I am naturally not a patient person, but I think that my access to instant information over the years has intensified this part of my personality. I don’t like mystery, it makes me anxious. I think that’s a human thing overall, but the internet has made me even more uncomfortable with it. During the kind of transitional phase I am currently experiencing, I am usually anxious about what is coming next and when I will feel settled. I’m waiting for Facebook to come out with a “Future Feed” feature that can tell me exact details of my future…but yikes that would be creepy. And Facebook already has enough information about me. I have had my profile on there since 2007. Pictures from then are fun evidence of that.

So the internet. This is just the result of one night without it and  my personal acknowledgement that it has left me with a greater need to learn to be more comfortable with the unknown. Goodness, think of all the reflecting I could do with more than one night without it. I could probably figure out how to tell the future myself. But then again what we don’t know is what makes life interesting. So here’s to less “refreshing” of my Instagram feed and hopefully way less photos of Beyonce making me feel the opposite of fierce. Sorry girlfriend.

Chronicles of a Winter Road Trip

Here’s a list of tips for taking a road trip on a severely snowy day:

1. Don’t do it. Don’t drive anywhere. Stay home and drink hot chocolate.

My friend and I traveled by car to Detroit last weekend to visit another friend. YES WE WENT TO DETROIT. Relax. It is actually a very cool place despite the bankruptcy and abandoned buildings…And the people there are wonderful. After a fun and eventful weekend it was time to head back home on Sunday—which we did after dawdling all morning and taking our time to eat bagels.

The best way for me to describe how this adventure of a trip progressed is by the following stages:   

Stage 1: Ignorant bliss

I began the first driving shift. We were off to a great start. The Indie Holiday Pandora station was playing in the background as non-threatening snowflakes floated around the car.  We passed cute barns and Christmas tree farms and everything was great. We stopped at a gas station. We continued back on a beautiful highway. We stopped again in Ann Arbor for coffee (Obviously we were in no rush to get back home and were oblivious to the fact that the pending snowstorm would affect our drive at all). Ann Arbor is a LOVELY city by the way. As we made our way to the Starbucks there we passed through charming neighborhoods with beautiful red brick houses. Even the Starbucks was beautiful with dark wood walls and a handsome barista who looked like Phillip Phillips.

We got back on the road for a second time, coasting along to a Mindy Kaling audiobook when it suddenly hit us…

Stage 2: The breakdowns

It was still my driving shift when I suddenly hit a wall—figuratively speaking of course…I was becoming weirdly hypnotized by the small snowflakes slowly falling around us and then my right leg went numb and then I had a mini, internal panic attack. My friend did not notice, as I was desperately trying not to concern anyone. I just said “Hey, would you mind taking over driving for a bit?” Which lead to our third stop in the only TWO hours we had been driving. It was a low point. We pulled over to a McDonald’s where we both realized that we were still far from home and had begun to feel the weight of the pending driving set in. We weren’t doing great.  And please note: McDonald’s food will not settle an upset stomach or headache or driving anxiety. If anything, it will make all of those things much worse.

But alas, the only way to get home was to continue driving. So my friend took the wheel and we trudged on…

Stage 3: Blizzard/almost panic

So we weren’t SURPRISED when the snow progressively got heavier and the lines on the road became less visible and the drivers around us became less skilled. It was bound to happen as we ventured within the giant blue blob we had seen on the weather radar. The estimated remaining time of our trip according  to Google Maps became longer & longer and our bravery was dwindling. All I could do in the passenger’s seat was pat my friend’s back every once in awhile and hand her the toll money when necessary. When we received a call from back home letting us know of road closures and accidents and bad roads (wait the roads were bad?) and the idea of staying overnight somewhere, we pulled over to the nearest hotel. We stumbled into the lobby feeling very distraught, however that must have been undected by the Stepford receptionist there who just smiled at us in our misery. And after a night of popcorn and a glass of wine and bad cable TV we were on a much cleaner road back home in the morning…

So that’s the story of a winter roadtrip. We should have left earlier. We should have gotten Starbucks’ Phillip Phillips’ phone number for the next time we go to Ann Arbor.  We should NOT have eaten McDonald’s. Hindsight amiright?

GREETINGS

Day 134: I have been taken hostage by corporate America. But they pay me so no need to send help.

For the past five months that I have had my job I have been trying to figure out how to resurrect this blog. Because I just like writing it. But frankly, after filling this blog with job search stories I have become bored of the subject. I’m still just beginning in my career but there’s other exciting stuff happening too! Like my sister got married and I just got a haircut and I’m still planning that big move to Europe…I mean NO, I haven’t moved out of my parents’ house yet, and YES, I still carpool to work with my dad but BABYSTEPS, people!

After going through the process of job searching where I often did not have control of the situation and was putting my fate in other peoples’ hands (more like into the claws of the robots on the internet that “read” my resume) I think it’s a good idea to do things where I can be more in control and proactive. Like trying new things and whatever…

So that’s what I’ll be trying to do. This is my attempt at a revival of this blog for anyone who cares. Maybe I’ll try every single restaurant in Milwaukee and give reviews for them. Or talk about my plan to meet Jennifer Lawrence and to force her to be my best friend. Or start a travel blog for Wisconsin hotspots like Baraboo. UNLESS someone would like to sponsor a trip for me around the world to which I would not be opposed.

But more likely I’ll tell you things like new hobbies that I get into for a week and then stop (or MAYBE how to keep up with those hobbies…) or how the turkey turns out that I’m in charge of cooking for my family for Thanksgiving or what happens when I travel to the mysterious land of Detroit next week to visit one of my bestiez.

We’ll see where this goes.

I’m employed! Now what?

So I got a job. It was actually more anticlimactic than I thought it would be. There were no fireworks shot out of the phone when I got the call, no one gathered outside my window and cheered for me. I had a lot of time to imagine the scenario playing out, and I always thought it would be extremely triumphant. After waiting weeks after an interview for an offer and deciding I probably didn’t get the job I’d get a surprise call one afternoon saying I got it! And the world would shake and an orchestra would appear. Expectations vs. reality amiright?

In reality I applied for a job on a Friday, got a call the next Monday, interviewed for a job on Tuesday–that lasted about 25 minutes (pretty short)–and received a call the next day (WEDNESDAY FYI) with an offer. Phew. It wasn’t what I expected only because of my past experiences with interviews in the past year and having to wait FOREVER for a response. I am SO grateful for the opportunity, really. It’s a start. And when LinkedIn tells me to “complete my profile” by filling out my current title and position I won’t feel like punching my computer screen anymore.

Everyone I’ve been seeing the past few days has been saying to me “Enjoy your last week of freedom!” which makes me laugh. I’ve been enjoying weeks on weeks of “freedom” during which I could do whatever I wanted, but most of the time hated it. Sitting at a computer job searching while I felt like the whole world was moving forward wasn’t exactly freeing, but gave me lots of time to REFLECT (and people watch at/survey coffee shops for handsome men, but that is so beyond the point.)

Going into this job next Monday I am more confident in my abilities. I think that needing to convince other people of my talents in a billion job interviews made me believe in & understand them more myself. I am going into that job SO ready to contribute as much as I can, even though I’m starting from the bottom just like Drake did…

I also just feel so motivated to take my career where I want it to go. And I know I will recognize when it’s going in the right direction and also if it’s not going where I think it should. It’s most likely if I had gotten a job right away last year I wouldn’t have built up this WISDOM. Also I acquired an appreciation for creating balance. I’m basically a Buddhist monk now. Just kidding. I’m far from figuring it all out. But as I stressed over finding a job I discovered the importance of filling my time with other things that I enjoyed and appreciating the lovely & kind people around me…

I will let you know in a few weeks if corporate life has destroyed this BEAUTIFUL mindset, but I don’t think it will. Because I will have probably received my first paycheck by then and realized how nice it is to be able to go into the mall without feeling like someone on a diet in an ice cream store. Why would they be there in the first place you say? JUST TO LOOK. Jeeze.

Anyway! On to spread some JOY to the world of mining shovels. Stay tuned : )

Cube life: What I miss

Now that summer weather has arrived I feel like I’m on vacation. It’s not so bad laying out in the sun with a book and an ice cold Diet Coke (IT TASTES BETTER THAN REGULAR COKE PEOPLE). There are moments, however, where I really wouldn’t mind being in a dark cubicle freezing under the air conditioning vent stupidly positioned directly above me instead. One day I will regret those words, but the grass is always greener on the other side isn’t it???  I do know that the grass I’m laying on right now is a healthy, lush green color, but having a more lush shade of green in my bank account is something I really wouldn’t mind right about now.

People have said to me that they are jealous that I’m not working which makes me laugh. HAHA. I will gladly take over your job for you. I have had some good timez as an unemployed person, but there are things about having a job that I truly miss and that I will never complain about once I get that job! (for the first few months anyway…)

Participating in conversations about work/co-workers

“So today Gary from work said the FUNNIEST thing…” A little while ago I found myself amidst an exchange of workplace stories between my friends. Everyone was discussing their crazy co-workers and other corporate shenanigans. I could have offered up stories about my internship and whatnot, but that felt like old news so I chose to stay quiet and sip my wine instead. Gary doesn’t even sound that funny.

My business casual clothes

So I have been sporting my famous interview outfit pretty often these days, but the majority of my business casual clothes have been neglected in the back of my closet. I kind of miss wearing them. I know for a fact that if I have to wear them in the near future in the glorious Wisconsin humidity as I walk from my car to the office I will regret saying that, but then as I settle into the Ice Age climate of a normal corporate office I may be thankful for them once again.

Waking up REALLY early

I always had 8am classes the last couple years of college and when I didn’t have class I had to get to work early. I am NOT a natural morning person. You can ask most people and they will tell you that I’m not so pleasant early in the mornings. Until I’ve finished my coffee. But I do like to be up early, it makes me feel like a better life participant.

Happy hour

Happy hour is really designed for people with “9 to 5” jobs, so I’ll feel better about participating in that once I get one for myself. Any hour of the day could be happy hour for me, but I feel better about my chances of getting a job if I don’t follow that philosophy.

Obviously I want a job for many more reasons than the above, like to make a living and advance my career and put my education to good use. Maybe I’ll write about those another time. But for now I gotta go. I need a Diet Coke refill.

Why you didn’t get the job

One of the most frustrating things about looking for a job is not knowing why I didn’t get a job I interviewed for. Once I get an interview I am immediately more invested in the position—I know that I am among a select few chosen to be more seriously considered. When I don’t get the job not only am I sometimes HEARTBROKEN (What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, people! That’s what Kelly Clarkson says) but I am also left clueless as to why specifically I did not get the job.

This article explains why HR departments don’t usually give feedback to rejected candidates, apparently mostly due to legal reasons. I have asked HR people a few times for feedback after not getting a job and mostly got vague answers, or have been told that someone else simply had more experience blahblahblah. That still doesn’t satisfy me, so I’m left to dream up reasons why I didn’t get the job. If you are in this same situation, I have compiled the following short list of possible reasons you did not get hired. Maybe one of them will put your mind to rest…

You’re just too good-looking

I heard a story on the radio a few weeks ago—coincidentally as I was driving to an interview—about a woman who says she is unemployed because she felt too conspicuous at work every day due to how beautiful she is. She says that her co-workers would ask her out on dates and were often too distracted by her “natural attractiveness” to take her work seriously…Okay. I don’t even know WHAT to think about this lady but hey, maybe people find you too beautiful to work?

The HR department disappeared

…Taking the position you interviewed for with it. This is my conspiracy theory about a certain job I never heard back about. Almost two months after I had the interview I contacted HR who told me to call back in two weeks because a decision still hadn’t been made. I did, at which point HR told me that they didn’t know what was going on with the position, they didn’t even know if a candidate had been chosen, they would call me back. After e-mailing them one last time and receiving no response, I am convinced they disappeared. I have been left without even a rejection e-mail after interviews before, but this particular circumstance convinced me that something weird was going on…I think they were sucked into a black hole.

Sometimes companies interview people just for the fun & exhilarating experience

So that’s probably very untrue, but even when a company has an internal candidate for a job who they most likely want to hire for this other position they usually also bring in external candidates either because of policy or just to see what’s out there. In a lot of cases the internal candidates are chosen. BUT at least those other people who put on their interview outfits and prepared for being interviewed had a fun time of it.

It was someone else’s DREAM job

When I look at a job description and apply for a job, there may be one or two qualifications that I don’t identify with but I apply for it because overall I know it’s a job I would like and would do well. After an interview I had a few weeks ago I left feeling like I wasn’t what they were looking for. Although I know I could have done the job well, I’m sure there was someone else whose career goals were more lined up with the tasks and responsibilities of that position. And I can accept that because I think that one of these times, the person who is the perfect match will be ME! : )

All I know is, if I got more specific feedback on the close to thirty interviews I’ve had, I would be able to improve on each one. The reality is that my questions are left unanswered. So until I get a bulleted list of what I can do better, I will just keep on going until the right job comes along. Or until a modeling agent approaches me and tells me I’m too pretty to work…puh-LEASE! Let’s get real, people.

Dear Europe: WAIT FOR ME s’il vous plait!

America the beautiful, land of the free and home of the brave. Amiright? The US is great and all but I’m fixing to move out, at least for awhile. During my job search I have applied to several jobs overseas, in countries where primarily English or French are spoken—France, Switzerland, Belgium, England, Ireland—and the exception of an internship in Italy because even if I didn’t understand what anyone was saying I know I would be eating delicious pastas, drinking fine wines, and enjoying some nice scenery. I usually know that the chances of me getting these jobs are very slim, however whenever I’m in a state of frustration over finding a job and I feel like running away I usually go on application sprees for European positions. Like yesterday at 3AM.

At every interview I have had so far I have been asked, “Where do you see your career in 10 years?” And I always answer the same—retirement! Just kidding. I want to be working in another country or in a company/position where interaction internationally is a daily thang. I think that sounds doable! And as I’ve been applying to jobs I always keep this goal in mind. People say, “Just take any job that remotely relates to marketing” or whateva, but that’s not my philosophy. I have applied to a fair share of jobs that I didn’t necessarily want to but they seemed practical. But as I put more and more hours into looking for a job, I have been focusing more on what I really want to do with my career. If I’m putting all this time and energy into finding a job, I don’t want the result to be something I just end up with.

Do I sound like I’m being picky? It might sound that way, but once you figure out what you want, it’s easier to focus and find positions worth your time. That’s important. It’s easy to focus on the right now and say OMG I WILL TAKE ANY JOB, and that might be necessary, like getting a part time job or something. However, as I put things into perspective and think about ten years from now, I’m trying to set myself up now for being where I want to be later.

This post is the result of nostalgia brought on by the fact that this time last year I was anticipating a European adventure (slash “summer school”…), and as the reality hits me that I don’t quite have the resources to get over there anytime soon just for fun, I might as well try to get there a different way. And obviously I’m still working on that. A few months ago I applied for a marketing job in Switzerland working for the International Olympic Committee… So that is one of my dream jobs. I’m working towards it. In the meantime, I could really use a vacation, so if anyone needs a traveling companion or are willing to pay me to be any of the following on their Eurotrip this summer, I’m your girl!

• Tour guide: following maps is not exactly my specialty, but I will be sure to get you lost and we’ll discover some hole in the wall café you can tell all your friends about
• French sandwich taster: I’m in love with French bread/sandwiches. I will eat them and let you know which ones are the best, sparing you the extra carbohydrates.
• Wine taster: I know the difference between white and red wines…
• Shoe consultant: I had some nightmarish experiences last summer in terms of the footwear I chose to walk around giant cities in for hours. I will make sure that your feet survive the trip and still look like your feet at the end.
• Public transportation specialist: It’s probably my petite size, but I know how to make room on crowded metros, trains, etc. It’s still not a pleasant experience.
• Translator: Je parle français!

We can call it my summer internship—still putting me on track for my LT goals ; )