I’ve always been afraid of the concept of “settling”. To me that could mean staying in one place for too long OR accepting something that is less than what I know I deserve or want. Like not telling the barista that I ordered a WHITE chocolate mocha, not a regular one if they get it wrong (JEEZE). I hate the feeling that I’m no longer moving, improving, discovering new things, etc.
Lately I’ve been thinking about the difference between settling and settling DOWN. Just three weeks ago I began a new job (again!). It’s a position that will be giving me better experience and opportunities, at a place where I know I will be staying for a longer amount of time than I’m used to. Since I began college things have been in a constant cycle of change. Every semester brought a new batch of classes. Every year brought a new place to live, new people surrounding me. Even my internship during college was a program that required rotating to a new department every six months.
Then college ended. And things still didn’t settle down. Although I was stuck in the black hole of unemployment, my mind was anxious, jumping from one job interview to the next, one potential future to another. Once I finally found a job I still felt like it was just a stepping-stone, just a place I was passing through. Knowing that it was a position where I didn’t feel like I was able to demonstrate my full potential, I never stopped looking for a different job for the nine months I was there.
And NOW, I have found the holy grail of a job that I’ve been looking for. At an exceptional, international company in a position with a lot of future possibilities. I feel so grateful and blessed. But….
Okay you probably want to slap me in the face and say MISSY how could there be a but?? You finally got this job you’ve been rambling on about for the past two years!!
Just LISTEN people.
The “but” is that I am entering a territory where it looks like I will be settling down for awhile, and that is horrifying to me. It’s weird for me to not be looking for a new job anymore. That became one of my biggest hobbies. I’ve caught myself looking at open positions and then realizing I don’t need to keep looking anymore! Phew. The search is over for now, and I need to teach myself that settling down can be a good thing. Constantly searching for something better gets exhausting. Even though this job is not a high level executive position in Paris, it’s good for me. And it could just be one step closer to those cobblestone streets in the city of lights. Every once in awhile settling down results in some beautiful things.
Like meeting someone special (and handsome) and taking a chance on a relationship with them. Or finding a new job and taking advantage of all its new learning opportunities.
I just need to remind myself that settling down is not settling. It’s simply realizing that the search for something can be over—at least for a while. There are a lot of places in my life where I’m currently not settled down too, and I’m finding that for me I need those things to continue to look and strive for—like a new place to live, a relationship, new friendships, a stronger faith—things that help me to stay in a constant state of progress. I know I get bored easily…but here’s to settling down and still having the potential to be better every day. Sounds like something Oprah would say. Sorry.